


What Not to Say

by GreyMichaela



Series: One-Shots [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ace!Sam Winchester, Asexual Character, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, this is NOT Coffee Cake 'verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 19:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2240514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyMichaela/pseuds/GreyMichaela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Gabriel have been dating for months and when Gabe finally works up the courage to ask Sam to have sex with him, Sam turns ashen and has to find a way to tell Gabe he’s asexual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Not to Say

**Author's Note:**

> **This was the message I got:** Sam and Gabriel have been dating for months and when Gabe finally works up the courage to ask Sam to have sex with him, Sam turns ashen and has to find a way to tell Gabe he’s asexual. The night ends with Sam in tears as he recounts the times he’s told various people and how badly they’ve reacted.  
>  (So… I may have read all of your AO3 stuff and fallen in love (it helps I’m ace and have had bad coming out stories)(also that you portray an ace relationship PERFECTLY) so… if you have time?)
> 
> ~~~~
> 
> I wrote this because I think it's important for others to see that there's a right way and a wrong way to respond to someone coming out in any manner. I'll be back to more lighthearted fare soon, I promise, but I thought this should be shared.

They’d been dating for a month before Sam found the courage to slide his hand into Gabriel’s while watching a movie they’d both been wanting to see.  Gabriel twitched in surprise but his fingers curled around Sam’s and gripped him tight.

Sam didn’t remember much about the rest of the movie, but the brilliant smile Gabriel gave him when it was over… _that_  he remembered.

Between Gabriel’s job and Sam’s classes, it was close to two months into being boyfriends before they found themselves alone with several hours to spare.  Gabriel had closed the flower shop early and showed up on Sam’s doorstep with several DVDs to choose from.

Sam had opted for Galaxy Quest and they’d curled up on the couch together to watch it, quoting the lines with the characters on the screen.

When the movie was over, Gabriel turned a little so that his face was pressed against Sam’s chest, rubbing his cheek against the soft nap of Sam’s hoodie.

“Gabe?” Sam whispered.

Gabriel hummed in response.

“I have a question,” Sam murmured.  His own cheek was resting on Gabriel’s silky hair, and it smelled like coconuts and suntan lotion.

“…’kay,” Gabriel said, sounding puzzled.

“How come you haven’t tried to kiss me?” Sam asked.

Gabriel lifted a shoulder.  “Figured you weren’t ready, Sammy.  Didn’t wanna push you into anything.”  He turned a little further so that their chests were pressed together, slipping his right arm underneath Sam’s back and sighing contentedly.

“Do you…not  _want_ to kiss me?” Sam asked after a few more minutes of silence.

Gabriel sounded half asleep.  “Wanna kiss you  _all the time,_ ” he mumbled through a yawn.  “Think about kissing you…” He stopped to yawn again and wriggled a little, getting comfortable on Sam’s broad chest.  “Think about kissing you all the time.  Think about more…” Another yawn. “Than that.  Want you, Sammy.  So gorgeous and you don’t even _know…_ ”

Sam waited, holding his breath, but Gabriel didn’t say anything else, and a minute later his slim frame had relaxed into the heaviness of sleep.

Sam stroked a hand up and down Gabriel’s back, thinking, his mouth set unhappily.  Gabriel wanted him.  Well, of course he did, he’d never made any secret of the fact that he found Sam attractive.

What was Sam going to  _do?_

He drifted off into sleep himself, still mulling over the question.

When he woke, Gabriel was propped up with his elbows on Sam’s chest, watching his face from a few inches away.  Sam blinked, startled, and Gabriel cocked his head and grinned at him.

“Hi,” he said.

“Um,” Sam said, feeling idiotic.  “Hi.  How long have you been staring at me?”

“Couple of hours,” Gabriel said.  “You sleep like the dead.  Good thing you’re so pretty; made the time just fly by.”

A couple of – Sam looked at the clock on the wall and then back into Gabriel’s unrepentant grin. 

“Okay, so maybe it was closer to five minutes,” Gabriel amended.

Sam snorted a laugh.  “God, you’re an ass.”  It was the easiest thing in the world to lean forward and press their mouths together.

Gabriel froze in place and Sam had a brief panicked moment of wondering if he was doing the right thing before Gabriel’s lips parted and then their tongues were sliding together, hot and wet and  _oh,_ this was nice, Sam realized.  Gabriel’s breath was warm against his skin and somewhere in there he went to his knees, pressing Sam down into the couch cushions so he could straddle Sam’s prone body and take gentle control of the kiss.

Sam ran his hands down Gabriel’s ribs, making the shorter man shiver and deepen the kiss with a hitch in his breath.  Sam’s eyes slid shut of their own volition and he relaxed completely, letting Gabriel guide them both.

It was several long, delicious moments later that Gabriel slipped a hand between them and cupped Sam’s groin, and Sam’s eyes shot open as Gabriel stopped moving and broke the kiss.

_Shit._

Gabriel mostly looked puzzled.  “You’re not hard,” he said, and there was no accusation in his tone, just honest bafflement.

Sam put a hand on Gabriel’s chest and pushed gently until Gabriel got the hint and sat up, allowing Sam to wriggle out from underneath him and sit up straight himself.

“Sam, what is it?” Gabriel said.

This was the part that Sam had been dreading, the part that always went wrong.  He drew his knees up to his chest, trying to figure out what to say.

“Gabe…I need to tell you something,” he said, picking at a loose thread on his jeans.  He could see Gabriel tilting his head, confused, out of the corner of his eye.

“Is this your way of telling me you’re straight?” Gabriel said.  His tone was trying for light, amused, but looking up, Sam could see the tension around his eyes.

Sam shook his head.  “Pretty sure corkscrews are straighter than me.”  That got a twitch from Gabriel’s lips, and encouraged, Sam forged on.  “I’m…asexual, Gabe.”

Gabriel blinked twice, slowly, and Sam waited, heart in his throat.

“Okay,” he finally said, and Sam stared.

“That’s it?  That’s all you have to say?”

“What do you  _want_ me to say?” Gabriel countered.  He looked puzzled and unhappy, but not angry.

Sam was, though.  Suddenly he was furious.  “You could say that I just haven’t had the right kind of sex,” he snapped.  He shot to his feet and Gabriel watched him pace back and forth in front of the couch.

“You could say ‘challenge accepted’,” Sam continued, and Gabriel winced.

“That’s…a horrible thing to say,” he said quietly.

Even as angry as he was, Sam knew it wasn’t directed at Gabriel and he made a conscious effort to control his breathing and get his heart-rate under control.

“My dad’s thing was, ‘How do you know you don’t like sex if you’ve never tried it?’” Sam said.  “My first boyfriend said the ‘challenge’ thing and he took it personally when I didn’t get hard no matter how long he tried.”

Pain flickered across Gabriel’s face as he perched on the arm of the couch, watching Sam wear a groove in the rug.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“Why?” Sam demanded, spinning to face him.  “Don’t you mean, ‘No one’s gonna want to be with you if you don’t put out?’”

Gabriel shook his head but Sam wasn’t done.

“I’ve had people assume I was abused, that I just haven’t had sex with  _them_ , that they can ‘fix’ me.” Sam took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair.  Gabriel was utterly still, eyes fixed on Sam’s face.

“I don’t have much experience,” Sam admitted.  “But I know myself.  I don’t want sex.  Ever.  And I’ll understand if you can’t handle it, if you want to leave.”  A pang shot through him at the thought of Gabriel walking away, and he wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Do you want to be with me?” Gabriel asked quietly.

Sam nodded, mouth twisting.  “I’m ace, not aro.  I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.  I just…can’t give you sex.”

Gabriel stood up and crossed the room, grabbing Sam’s wrists and pulling them away from his body so that he could slide his own arms around Sam and rest his head on Sam’s chest.

Sam held perfectly still, afraid to move, afraid to  _breathe._

“You don’t have to give me anything you don’t want to give me,” Gabriel said, his voice muffled by Sam’s hoodie.  “All I want is you, Sam.  You’re perfect just the way you are.”

Sam let out his breath on a shuddering sigh and slipped his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders.

“Not wanting you doesn’t mean not loving you,” he whispered, and Gabriel’s arms tightened.

“I know,” he said simply. 


End file.
